Thursday, October 8, 2009.

Today was interesting... So my day started off okay. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night so the walk to school with him was kind of awkward. But once I got to school things went downhill from there. I started thinking about mine and Nick (my boyfriend)'s relationship. And I started to have doubts. Then by seventh period I knew I was going to break up with him next period. So eighth period comes and I am in study hall. Now, normally I am an aide for my French teacher but when I went to her room there was a note on the door telling me to go back to study hall. So when I went back to the cafeteria, my boyfriend, Sam (a friend), and I got a pass to go to the Media Center a.k.a. the library. I never understood why they call it the Media Center...It's not any different from any old library but anyways. So Nick, Sam and I are in the library. Nick and Sam were playing on the laptops and I was looking for a book. When I looked up they were walking out the door. I was like "Nick?" And he was like "We're going back" so I said "Whatever" and rolled my eyes. At that point I was fed up. Not only do I think he is immature and rude but now he just ditched me. So they leave in the library and I continue to look for book. Unsuccessful. The book I wanted was on reserve for someone else. So I go back to study hall and what is Nick doing but flirting with one of my friends. I was pissed! So I sit down next t him and you could definitely tell I wasn’t happy. My friend Becky (the girl Nick was flirting with) asked what was wrong. I nodded my head towards Nick. She mouthed "Did you break up" and I mouthed "I am going to." She pulled my away from the table and I told her why and began to cry. I asked to go the bathroom and the teacher told me there was a wait. I went back to the table, holding back tears. Finally, I couldn't take it and I went and said I needed to go to the bathroom. She let me go. I went to the bathroom and cried. When I came back Becky mouthed to me "do it now" so I leaned over to Nick and whispered in his ear "Becky wants me to break up with you now. He called her a "dumb whore" The bell rang. In the hall, I brought Nick to my locker and hugged him and said I was sorry. He got the point. I asked if he was okay and he said "I'm fine" and walked away. I went to my ninth period class and couldn't hold back the tears. I asked to go the guidance counselor. I went there and cried my eyes out. After that I went back to ninth period and took a quiz which I am pretty sure I passed. (: But i still wasn't happy. After the bell rang and school was done I went to go get Nick from in ninth period class so I could talk to him. I asked him to walk home with me and he said he would but when we got outside his mom was there to pick him up. So he got a ride and walked home with this freshmen named Roger who happens to be one of Nick's friends. We talked about the break-up all the way home. I wanted to cry again but I didn't. When I got home I went AIM and Nick was on. I IM-ed him and he said he was leaving soon. I told him I wasn't sure I had really wanted to break up with him and that I still liked him alot. He said he still liked me too. Then I asked to call him and we talked on the phone for a few minutes. Then his mom said he had to get off the phone because he had to get ready to leave for counseling. So he said he had to go but to go one AIM real quick. So I did. When I got on he IM-ed me and I said I got to go but I just wanted to say... I love you" i almost died. I began bawling my eyes and told him I thought I loved him too. He put a smiley face and said he would call me later. When I signed off I began to cry again and I cried for a good twenty minutes. It was intense. So far that's what has happened to today. I think I am hanging out with Nick when he gets home. But now that I think about it, I am not even sure we’re back together but I assume we are considering we exchanged "I love you's". Well that's all for now. I will blog again later and tell you how the rest of my day goes.