Ugh!

I have posted in almost a month. I officially suck. So I am starting to get the feeling that I am not attractive in the least bit. Everyone person I like always rejects me and so many people call me fat or emo daily. I am really getting sick of everything. This is really very few people that I actually like. I just want to give up. Seriously. FML.

!@#$%^&*

I really wish I could stick to posting everyday but it seems quite impossible. So remember how my life is spiriling downward? well it's getting worse. And that amazing person I was talking to? Not to so much anymore. I do kinda like someone but they already told me thay don't like me like that anddd they are mad rude to me now. I started going to back to people in my past. Bad idea! All I did was get my feelings hurt. I am very jealous person and it's getting the best of me. I dont know what to do. Ugh! Save me?

I am a terrible person...

I haven't posted in a week. What is my problem?! I can tweet like a bazillion times a day but I can't write one simple blog...? Erg. I am frustrated! Anyway this past week has been terrible. I have fallen into old habits again; in school and in life and it just seems like my life is spiraling downward (very emo, right?) but it's true. Although there has been a few good things this week. Like this really cool person that I started talking to. (you know who you are. ) :D

I want to be a model someday.

I want to attend NYU and study their photography program. And I also want to attend a modeling school in New York. I really hope I get my degree. And I can move to Paris, France and be an amazing french-American photographer. Maybe I will become famous. My biggest wish is to get one of my pictures in "Vogue". I would die!

Ihavenolife...

So I said I would post again later so here I am. I though I would have more to talk about but sadly I don't. After I blogged on here, I went and took a nap then I had dinner then I read. Nest i had a panic attack. And now I am on here. Cureently I blogging and listening to music. I am listenig to Corbra Starship. I love cobraaa<3! I am going to sit and ponder for a bit and come up with a good rant to blog about or just something intersting to blog.

I already failed.

I didn't post yesterday when I said the day before that I would post everyday. Oh well. Well today wasn't that eventful. The only interesting thing that happened was that I found out the guy I like likes me. But I am not going to say anything about it yet so I don't jinx it. I am home from school now. I have nothing do 'cause I have no homework. Right now I am listening to music. I'll post again later.

Sorry I have neglected you.

I have not been on here in forever. I have been very busy with marching band and homework. So lets play catch up... I am single. That amazing boyfriend, Nick? Yeah, not so much. He cheated on me. So we are done and over with. We broke up the day before our one month. But it's whatever. I am over it. So marching band just ended on Friday. I am kind of happy and sad. I am sad because it's basically my life. But then again I am happy because now I can actually have a life besides band. And I will be able to concentrate on school more and get better grades therefore making my parents happy. Which is basically a big task in my life because if they are happy, I have a better day. You got me? Well I am going to try and start to post everyday again. We will see.

Saturday & Sunday

I had band allll day Saturday. And on Sunday I chilled with my family. That's all I did this past weekend. Our marching band came in 4Th out of six.. But our score went up 4 points, so that was cool. (:

Wednesday - Friday .

So absolutely nothing interesting had happened over these past few day. All though I am quite angry that I didn't stick to my promise to myself that I would post everyday. Oh well, it's too late now. So today is Friday, October 16, 2009. Tonight I was supposed to got o a home football game with the marching band. Buuut the band isn't going 'cause it's raining. So, instead I am going to my mom mom's house for her birthday party. I am excited because I really want cake and I get to have it! Woo! (: I will post again later when I get home to tell you how good the cake was. :P

Tuesday, Ocotber 13, 2009 cont.

So eventually I actually did my homework. Then I worked on cleaning my room for a bit then I played on the computer until 5 P.M. At 5 it wasn't my turn anymore so I worked on my room again until it was time to leave for marching band. Band was okay. It was quite cold but that's fall nights for you. Then I came home and ate tacos for dinner. Next I finally finished cleaning my room except for under my bed which I am saving for tomorrow. And now I am about to get in the shower then it's off to bed for me. Goodnight all. (:

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

So the reason I didn't blog yesterday is because I was a lazy bum all day and did nothing. Yesterday was very uneventful. And now that I think about it, today wasn't that eventful. I woke up around 6:30 a.m. I was out of the house by 6:50 a.m. I headed over to my friend, Samya's house to finish up our French project. Kate was also in our group and I feel bad 'cause I feel like they did all the work. I wish I would have contributed more. :/ Anyways, after we finished finishing up our project, we got a ride from Samya's aunt to school. This week is spirit week. Today was crazy black and orange day (our school colors). I got dressed up and it was kind of fun, I must admit. And basically the whole day was just blah from there. Nothing really interesting happened. However, I did have fun playing flag football in gym. I know, what a shocker! After school was over, I walked home all by myself because is still away. When I got home I took a few picture, none of which I kept. Then I made macaroni and cheese for dinner because I have marching band tonight. I am usually excited for band but today I am not. I am not quite sure why though. Oh well. Currently I should be doing my homework but instead I am listening to the scene aesthetic and blogging. But I am going to go do my homework now. It shouldn't take me too long.

Sunday, Ocotber 11, 2009

Today was such a blah day. I slept until noon. Then I got up and took my cousin home because she slept over. Not that I got to see her because by the time I got home from marching band, she was already asleep. Then I came home and ate lunch. Then i took a nap until like 5:30 p.m. Then my step-moms sister had an allergic reaction to something and my step-mom had to go drive and hour and half to go to the hospital with her. So my mom took my brother and I to McDonald's for dinner instead of having a home-cooked meal. I didn't really mind though. We came home and ate that and I also ate some brownies that my mom baked this morning. Next I took a shower. When I got out, I cut my bangs. They look pretty good. At least I think so. Once my bangs were cut my stomach started to hurt really bad. I literally though I was going to throw up but luckily I didn't. That pretty much brings up to now. Right now I am laying on the couch watching "The Wizards of Waverly Place" movie and going to sleep. Maybe I wont cry myself to sleep tonight.

Yesterday was Saturday, Ocotber 10, 209

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday because I had marching band all day long, literally. I woke up at 8 a.m. and got a shower. I was at the high school by 8:45 a.m. Practice started at 9 a.m. We practiced until 10:45 a.m. and then went to a parade. The parade was only 20 minutes long but my arms still hurt from hold up my instrument for that long. Finally we got back on the bus and went back to the high school. It was 1:45 in the afternoon. We ate lunch then walked up to the middle school to practice some more because the middle school field is better than the one at the high school. We practiced there until 5 p.m then we headed back to high school to eat dinner and get ready to leave for our competition. We left for the competition around 6:45 p.m. We got here and warmed up and what not. Then we preformed our show "The Elements". We stayed for award. We got 3rd place out of 7 bands. We did pretty well. I finally got home around midnight. I updated my twitter and then cried myself to sleep. II did that because my boyfriend left for an eight-day cruise. W e talked on the phone while he was on the boat still in America. But once he got out of America he lost his phone service because it only works in the U.S. I won't see him until he gets back in eight days. So I will probably be crying myself to sleep for the next eight days.

Firday, October 9, 2009

I woke up mad early today. I was up by 11 a.m. Well the reason I am not is school is because our teachers have an in-service today and we have off Monday as well.. So it's a four day weekend. Now normally I would be mad excited but I am not. You see, Nick is leaving for a a cruise tomorrow and won't be back for 8 days. So I am probably going to be stuck in the house, bored. But I guess it could be good thing because I will have time with my friends. That's always a good thing. (: I am going to miss him though. Anyways today started off pretty good. I was up a little to early but oh well. I had waffles for breakfast and they were good. And I have already talked to Nick but he supposed to be calling me back. So today should be good considering it started off well. But we shall see. Well I am going to watch all the stuff i have DVR'd in the past few days. I will blog again later.

Thursday, October 8, 2009.

Today was interesting... So my day started off okay. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night so the walk to school with him was kind of awkward. But once I got to school things went downhill from there. I started thinking about mine and Nick (my boyfriend)'s relationship. And I started to have doubts. Then by seventh period I knew I was going to break up with him next period. So eighth period comes and I am in study hall. Now, normally I am an aide for my French teacher but when I went to her room there was a note on the door telling me to go back to study hall. So when I went back to the cafeteria, my boyfriend, Sam (a friend), and I got a pass to go to the Media Center a.k.a. the library. I never understood why they call it the Media Center...It's not any different from any old library but anyways. So Nick, Sam and I are in the library. Nick and Sam were playing on the laptops and I was looking for a book. When I looked up they were walking out the door. I was like "Nick?" And he was like "We're going back" so I said "Whatever" and rolled my eyes. At that point I was fed up. Not only do I think he is immature and rude but now he just ditched me. So they leave in the library and I continue to look for book. Unsuccessful. The book I wanted was on reserve for someone else. So I go back to study hall and what is Nick doing but flirting with one of my friends. I was pissed! So I sit down next t him and you could definitely tell I wasn’t happy. My friend Becky (the girl Nick was flirting with) asked what was wrong. I nodded my head towards Nick. She mouthed "Did you break up" and I mouthed "I am going to." She pulled my away from the table and I told her why and began to cry. I asked to go the bathroom and the teacher told me there was a wait. I went back to the table, holding back tears. Finally, I couldn't take it and I went and said I needed to go to the bathroom. She let me go. I went to the bathroom and cried. When I came back Becky mouthed to me "do it now" so I leaned over to Nick and whispered in his ear "Becky wants me to break up with you now. He called her a "dumb whore" The bell rang. In the hall, I brought Nick to my locker and hugged him and said I was sorry. He got the point. I asked if he was okay and he said "I'm fine" and walked away. I went to my ninth period class and couldn't hold back the tears. I asked to go the guidance counselor. I went there and cried my eyes out. After that I went back to ninth period and took a quiz which I am pretty sure I passed. (: But i still wasn't happy. After the bell rang and school was done I went to go get Nick from in ninth period class so I could talk to him. I asked him to walk home with me and he said he would but when we got outside his mom was there to pick him up. So he got a ride and walked home with this freshmen named Roger who happens to be one of Nick's friends. We talked about the break-up all the way home. I wanted to cry again but I didn't. When I got home I went AIM and Nick was on. I IM-ed him and he said he was leaving soon. I told him I wasn't sure I had really wanted to break up with him and that I still liked him alot. He said he still liked me too. Then I asked to call him and we talked on the phone for a few minutes. Then his mom said he had to get off the phone because he had to get ready to leave for counseling. So he said he had to go but to go one AIM real quick. So I did. When I got on he IM-ed me and I said I got to go but I just wanted to say... I love you" i almost died. I began bawling my eyes and told him I thought I loved him too. He put a smiley face and said he would call me later. When I signed off I began to cry again and I cried for a good twenty minutes. It was intense. So far that's what has happened to today. I think I am hanging out with Nick when he gets home. But now that I think about it, I am not even sure we’re back together but I assume we are considering we exchanged "I love you's". Well that's all for now. I will blog again later and tell you how the rest of my day goes.